DIVORCE PUTS A GREAT DEAL OF STRESS ON THE MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL HEALTH OF THOSE GOING THROUGH IT. A DIVORCE COACH CAN HELP.
One of the things we at Held Law Firm strive to do is help our clients see the light at the end of the tunnel; the new life that is waiting. The stress put on the health of each individual can be minimized to some degree. But, minimizing stress in an adversarial divorce is extremely hard. Even those that do not go to litigation such as slightly contested, or mediation, take their toll on the parties involved. There is no other way to put it, earth is scorched, hearts are broken, and lives are changed.
Good Conflict Resolution – The Basics
Collaborative law is an approach that works to avoid the traditional adversarial litigation model in favor of a team approach to conflict resolution. Attorneys that practice collaborative law are specially trained and have made a commitment to the team approach to resolve the divorce. In addition, the parties agree, in a written contract, to jointly retain the necessary specialists to assist in reaching an agreement. Also, the attorneys involved agree that neither will represent either party in court if the collaborative effort is unsuccessful.
In Collaborative Law the Team consists of:
- A financial specialist employed to analyze the parties’ financial assets and options and assist with developing a plan. (Hopefully, no scorched earth)
- A child specialist that may be utilized to help with the parenting plan, if children are involved. (Fewer broken hearts)
- A divorce coach that helps guide the process and works with the parties to move through conflicts and aid in communication. The divorce coach keeps the process going forward and facilitates meetings. (Lives changed for the good of all)
The idea is for the parties to gather information from neutral resources and make informed decisions about the future of their family.
WHAT IS A DIVORCE COACH?
A major distinction of a collaborative divorce from a tradition adversarial divorce is the role of the divorce coach. In a collaborative divorce, the parties agree to a divorce coach. Divorce coaches are typically a mental health professional, who assists the parties through the process. The coach has had collaborative law and mediation training. So, although they are professionals in mental health, they are familiar with the law. Ideally, they also have experience with family therapy. Above all, great communication skills are a must.
Therefore, the role of the neutral coach is to help the parties cope with the emotional and psychological challenges of a divorce. However, the divorce coach is not to become a therapist for either of the parties.
WHAT DOES A DIVORCE COACH DO?
The coach facilitates meetings and helps manage the emotions that sometimes run very high during a divorce. The coach may be able to help both parties see the other side’s viewpoint. In addition, they may call out behavior that triggers a reaction in the other party. Maintaining neutrality throughout the process is essential. So, as mentioned, the divorce coach may need to refer the parties to individual therapists.
In keeping the process moving forward, the coach schedules meetings and selects the issues to address. Ideally, the coach helps the couple stay focused on the goals within the parenting and the financial plans. Coaches do so by staying in touch with the other collaborative members of the team to address issues as they arise and schedule meetings if needed. All this in an effort to work towards an agreeable resolution.
Does a collaborative law divorce coach sound like something that would work for you? Are you interested in keeping negative emotional stress to a minimum? Are you interested in having knowledgeable, interested professionals help guide you through the mentally exhausting process of divorce? If so, please contact us at 865.637.6550 for more information about collaborative law divorces.
Collaborative law divorces are not for every divorce because it does involve cooperation and agreement of the parties to just begin the process. However, if this sounds like something that would work for you, please let Held Law Firm know.~~ Melanie Hogg
Also, for more information about collaborative law, please visit the East Tennessee Collaborative Alliance website.