The Big Questions in Every Divorce

In every divorce, your lawyer has to sort out pretty much the same questions. They are:

1. Grounds for the divorce. Unless your X agrees that you should get a divorce, you technically have to prove that s/he has done something so bad that no reasonable person would stay in the marriage - typically, it is adultery or drug use, but it can also be emotional cruelty or abandonment.

2. Who gets what. Typically, the Judge will add up the value of everything you two bought during the marriage - your home, your car, your retirement, personal possessions - everything. He’ll then subtract the amount of debt you two have accumulated. He’ll take that number and divide it in half to determine how much money each of you should take from the marriage. What you are paying your lawyer for is to determine who gets what, and if you deserve more than half, to explain to the Judge why.

3. What to do about the kids. This is the hardest and most expensive part of most divorces. Unless you and your spouse agree on a schedule, the Judge will set it for you. There are 11 factors the Judge considers in fixing that schedule - things like who has primarily taken care of the child up until now, who is best at helping the child get along with the other parent, and who is the most stable emotionally and financially.

4. Money. With every marriage that has kids, one parent is likely to have to pay the other parent child support. On top of that, depending on each spouse’s relative financial needs and ability to make money, as well as other factors including the length of the marriage, someone may need to pay the other person alimony.

You are paying your lawyer to advise you what the Judge will likely do in your case, to give you a clear financial picture of your life after the divorce is final, and to help you figure out the best schedule for your kids.